Funny english jokes short jobs

I require a skilled translator, fluent in both English and Brazilian-Portuguese, to assist with translating various documents. These are primarily long documents, over 1000 words each, which consist of website content, emails and reports. Your tasks will comprise the following: - Translate from Brazilian Portuguese to English (and vice versa) - Ensure high-quality translation, with correct grammar and vocabulary - Adapt translations to best suit website content localization Ideal candidates should have: - Native-level fluency in Brazilian-Portuguese and English - Extensive translation experience - Expertise in translating for website content localization - Detail-oriented approach to preserve the original meaning This job is perfect for translators passionate abou...

As the proprietor of this project, I'm requiring the professional assistance of a skilled web developer. I need to build a web application integrating two APIs - a CRM API and our own API via Node.js. This is expected to be a short-term project lasting one to two weeks. The scope of the job includes: - Building robust API interfaces - Ensuring seamless integration of both APIs - Debugging and resolving any issues that arise during the development process The ideal candidate should have strong experience in Node.js and RESTful API integration, with a proven track record of similar work. A good understanding of CRM systems is advantageous. The successful freelancer needs to have keen attention to detail and the ability to deliver within a tight deadline.

I need a reliable instagram manager to come in and run my personal brand account. Duties will include - answering DM’s - treating the DM’s as a crm system by keeping tabs and messaging old leads to push them To convert. - create short reels with trending music to generate interest (will train) Must be motivated and eager to make money

I'm in urgent need of an experienced graphic designer who can modify the text of a logo for me. The project needs to be completed ASAP. My expectation is that this can be completed in the next 2 hours. I will provide all formats required. Skills and Experience: - Graphic Design - Short turnaround times

I'm in need of a proficient Nigerian to English translator to transfer our electronics product descriptions. These descriptions are fairly technical, requiring some understanding of basic electronics specifications and terms. Key requirements: - Fluent in both Nigerian and English language - Understanding of moderate technical electronics terms and specifications - Experience in translating content for e-commerce websites - Familiarity with electronics sector preferred - Capable of translating with accuracy and a degree of creativity to make product descriptions appealing to a global audience.

...with the new updates, make sure everything is functional. Some of the most important tasks are but not limited to: A) Completing and updating i)Remove alba logo and make kingsmen logo slightly bigger ii)Add submenu to the main menus “om os”: ”Om os” menu has to have 3-Sub-menus : Om os; mere om kingsmen; & sikkerhed. -”om os” -links to the first page om os. This text here is a short intro about kingsmen. On this front page, the end text here which is clickable “mere om kingsmen” and that takes us to “mere om kingsmen” spage. -“mere om kingsmen”- (here you will add the full kingsmen profile I will provide. So one can access “mere om kingsmen” from the “om os” section on t...

...like an old TV show cartoon intro. Open to creativity but definitely want animated cartoon. Can use attached photos as well as the videos on @theweeklytheratea podcast to create cartoon. Backdrop of filming with neon sign also attached. - The development of a compelling compilation trailer video for promotional purposes. This will involve creatively using the new intro music and taking good/funny video clips content from our Instagram profile. We need someone who can choose these clips without our direction just utilizing our IG profile. (@theweeklytheratea) An ideal candidate for this project would be a skilled music producer and multimedia editor, ideally knowledgeable in the podcast industry. I prefer to have the jingle to be catchy with a reqyired voiceover talent that ca...

I am seeking an entry level SEO marketer to edit 100 uploaded designs with appropriate titles, tags, alt descriptions for each image and image descriptions onto my Etsy account on my behalf. More details will follow post-hire, but that is the general jist of the task. I would give you temporary access to my Etsy account (no money has been earned yet) to do this. In a way, I am conducting a bit of an experiment in doing this. I understand that the initial payment is not substantial, so I am offering recurring and higher paying work on a weekly basis in the event that the SEO optimization is successful and results in profit over $50.00 CAD. Payment for this recurring role would depend entirely on effectiveness/performance metrics and could range anywhere from $20.00 – 100.00 per week...

I need an able, analytical mind to compile a report of my competitors' social media metrics across various platforms: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and TikTok. As part of the analysis, the following metrics should be analyzed: - Social media profiles - Content they share on each platform. - Number ...each platform. - Number of followers - Engagement rate (likes, comments, shares) - Posting frequency - Quality of their content The project ideally should be completed ASAP, and a strong understanding of social media platforms, along with analytical capabilities, will be essential. Proficiency in recognizing social media trends will be a bonus. Accuracy and attention to detail are paramount. In short, I need insights that are actionable and can help strategize my next ...

I'm in need of someone skilled in vector arts to convert my existing logo, written in both Arabic and English, into a vector format. This involves maintaining the old color scheme and font design while providing an editable version. The current file format of the logo isn't specific, hence experience working with different raster image formats will be advantageous. Ideal skills and experience for this task include: - Proficiency in vector graphics software - Experience in converting raster images to vector - Familiarity with Arabic and English typography Freelancers are encouraged to bid even if they haven't worked on a similar task before. However, a portfolio comprising of any past work involving vector art would be a great addition. Detailed project pro...

I'm looking for Russian speaking men participants, aged 55-64, to assist me with a project focused on speech recognition research. As a part of my work to improve voice bots, I'll need your help in recording your voice. You need to have iPhone X or newer model. Specifically, here's what I'll need: * Reading passages: I'll provide you with a series of passages to read. These range from short stories to news articles. * Command phrases: Let's make "bots" smarter. I'll have you say predefined command phrases to simulate interactions with a voice bot. Ideal candidates should be: * Male * Native Russian speakers aged from 55 to 64 * Comfortable speaking and recording their voice * Having a clear, audible voice * iPhone X or newer A data p...

English Recording Project We have a project, that needs English speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record just 20 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 2USD For 20 short sentences recording. Every sentences is 2 word. If you are interested please let me know sure.I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

...writer, Have you played the games Lovelink or MeChat? Our app is similar to that. Your job will be to write a raunchy, seductive female character who will flirt and make the reader attracted towards her, ofcourse she will have a pain or a problem in her life that the reader/player will resolve. The story is R rated and targeted towards male readers. The test task is to write a character bio, short summary of the story and 120 line conversational text with added choices and picture choices. Check MeChat app for clear reference. If selected, we require 6000 words and will be paid around $200/$300 for the script. And a bonus if you are selected in this test. But this test task will be unpaid and you will get 2/3 days to finish the test. If you understand the task and are ready f...

Greek Recording Project We have a project, that needs Native Greek speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 50 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without echo. 2. Each person is 5 dollars for 50 short sentences record. 3. The project will take about 10 mins only. If you are interested please let me know sure.I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

Greek Recording Project We have a project, that needs Native Greek speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 50 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without echo. 2. Each person is 5 dollars for 50 short sentences record. 3. The project will take about 10 mins only. If you are interested please let me know sure.I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

I am in pursuit of a skilled mobile gamer, ideally experienced with a variety of game types including action, puzzles, and sports. You'll be required to aid in creating short gameplay videos, demonstrating an intermediate level of skill. Your remuneration will be 10 INR per short video. Key responsibilities include: - Playing various designated mobile games on the Android platform - Producing engaging, clear, and entertaining short videos of your gameplay - Demonstrating intermediate level skills in each game Ideal candidates should have: - A wide range of experience with various mobile games, particularly in action, puzzles, and sports - Adequate device for gameplay and recording - Ability to communicate effectively during gameplay, with an entertaining style

I am looking for a skilled Python programmer with advanced proficiency to implement a python script that trains a trading bot. The bot will leverage Proximal Policy Optimization (PPO) and Long Short Term Memory (LSTM) which is detailed described in the paper: In particular, I'd like to: - Develop a bot that given the input signals/window gives either a sell/hold/buy signals - Use the methods/parameters/data mentioned in the paper - The model should be trained and evaluated in the way the paper describes. - The evaluation data should be visualized with the signals (buy and hold) The stock OHLCV data for the task will be provided. Applicants should: - Have an advanced level of proficiency in Python programming. - Have

I am seeking a highly skilled freelancer to create a project for me called First Ya Rab. This project will primarily involve creating poems, essays, and short stories, but may also include other forms of content. The person I hire will be expected to have experience with Photoshop, Quarks Express, or Adobe Premier, as well as have some expertise in formatting and design. My budget for this project is between $100 and $500. Whoever I hire must be able to craft content of the highest quality and demonstrate their skill level in a reliable and efficient manner. If you think you are the perfect candidate for this project, I look forward to hearing from you.

I'm in need of a visually appealing and well-structured digital portfolio that showcases my experiences from a particular course. It's crucial for me that it draws the attention of my teacher and consequently leaves a lasting impression. - Key Content: The portfolio should comprehensively include text descriptions, images, videos, and short essays. I'm hoping to give a holistic view of my course journey, thus the content should be lively, articulate, and vivid. - Organization: I want the portfolio to be arranged thematically. This will provide a intuitive and relatable pathway through the materials. - Target Audience: Primarily, this portfolio is intended for my teacher, so its tone and approach should be academically inclined yet engaging. Ideal candidates for t...

...with a special focus on funny, sarcastic humour. I expect memes to be a combination of text and image based, flexibly catering to current trends and the demands of diversified meme-lords. Key Responsibilities: - Creating hilarious sarcastic memes that will engage the audience. - Showcasing creativity in incorporating both text and images. - Keeping updated with current trends and culture to incorporate in the content. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Experience in creating Instagram meme content. - An in-depth understanding and appreciation of sarcastic humour. - Proficiency in using digital design tools. - Ability to follow and apply current trends. - Understanding how to engage Instagram audiences. Push the boundaries of sarcasm and ensure each meme tickles the funny...

Translation of the analysis of mineral ore from Chinese to English

I am looking for a creative and professional video editor to produce a short, compelling video to promote a product/service specifically geared towards adults ranging from 35 to 54 years of age. Your task will be to craft a serious and professional tone throughout the video, effectively showcasing the benefits and features of our product/service. Key Responsibilities: - Develop a concept that aligns with our marketing goals - Edit video elements to ensure a cohesive and engaging final product - Deliver a video suitable for Facebook Ads Ideal Candidate: - Proven experience in video editing, preferably in product/service promotions - Highly skilled at conveying authenticity and professionalism through video content - Understanding of Facebook Ads video requirements - Able to effec...

Russian Recording Project We have a project, that needs Russian speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record just 20 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 2USD For 20 short sentences recording. Every sentences is 2 word. If you are interested please let me know sure.I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

Italian Recording Project We need only 10 Male speakers for this Project. We have a project, that needs Native Italian speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 90 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without an echo. 2. Each person Price is 4$ for 90 short sentences record. If you are interested please let me know sure. I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

I'm after a skilled and ambitious...flexibility in design adaptability to various size scales is essential. -The project timeline is urgent, hence I need someone able to start as soon as possible and deliver swiftly. Experience and Skills: -A solid grasp of 3D designing and graphic designing. -Experience in creating mock-ups for large format printables would be beneficial. -Speed and accuracy to manage a high-volume project within a short time frame. -A portfolio demonstrating your abilities creating high-quality design mock-ups. This project presents a great opportunity for someone looking to showcase their talent in creating realistic mock-ups for large-scale printables. I anticipate a great working relationship with you. If my project aligns with your skill set, don...

I am looking to fill a longterm editor position for multiple projects for my agency. I run a full stack growth agency that edits videos, run ads and makes funnels for various coaches, businesses and podcasts. The...All videos should be edited in 9/16 format for fullscreen experiences on IG Reels + TikTok. Please reach out to me here [Removed by Freelancer.com] and tell me a bit about yourself, your current situation and show me previous work. Important: I expect a sample to quality check your work, if I find qualified for the position, I will provide you with the raw 60-seconds footage. Fluent English is a must + you must be able to jump [Removed by Freelancer.com] to go through the onboarding process(webcam is a must). Daily reports are expected whenever we get t...

Dutch to English language translation and proofreading

I am seeking a skilled video editor with experience in creating traditional style wedding videos. The job involves producing long-duration (over 30 minutes) wedding videos. Key elements include: - Following a traditional aesthetic, creating an elegant production that will stand the test of ti...traditional aesthetic, creating an elegant production that will stand the test of time. - Crafting a highlight reel that showcases the most special moments of the event. The perfect candidate will have: - Experience in editing long form wedding videos. - Expertise in traditional video editing techniques. - A knack for producing highlight reels that encapsulate the essence of the event. In short, I need an expert who can take wedding footage and transform it into a long-lasting, cherish...

...reusable by modifying pictures titles and description so we can use for other projects as well. *Responsive Design. *Floating Whatsapp and Call Button. Landing page for property starting of with attractive and welcoming design with clear font below are the details of sections. Section 1 Header: with download brochure button after entering email the brochure should download. Section 2 Overview: Short overview of the project. Section 3 Amenities: Representation on a Amenities such as swimming pool,gym etc. Section 4 Gallery: Pictures Gallery. Section 5 Video: Video. Section 6 Payment Plan. Section 7 Call back: Name and Phone number for call back. Section 8 Location: Map along with the close proximity locations. Section 9 Floor Plans: Tabs with different floor plans pic...

This is a very short project. I have some English text that I would like translated into Pashto. I have already prepared the Word document that you would fill in. I would like to discuss this in more detail soon and thank you for your interest.

I'm in need of a proficient Nigerian to English translator to transfer our electronics product descriptions. These descriptions are fairly technical, requiring some understanding of basic electronics specifications and terms. Key requirements: - Fluent in both Nigerian and English language - Understanding of moderate technical electronics terms and specifications - Experience in translating content for e-commerce websites - Familiarity with electronics sector preferred - Capable of translating with accuracy and a degree of creativity to make product descriptions appealing to a global audience.

...complex information in a simplified, easily digestible way would also be advantageous for bidding on this project. ------------------------------------------------------------ ATTACHED IS MY ONBOARDING EMAIL. I WOULD LIKE ALL THIS INFORMATION CONVEYED TO A INTERACTIVE TEMPLATE. ive attached my company logo and the pdf version of what im asking for, please use that as a reference. id like this to be short, easy and do the point. please be consumer friendly with visuals. color scheme: SAME COLORS ON LOGO DESIGN. NO WHITE BACKGROUNDS. I NEED TO BE ABLE TO EDIT THIS DOCUMENT, TO ADD AND CHANGE THINGS AS THEY DO --------------------------------------- This is your client portal access. Within this portal you can send messages, upload documents, and track your credit progress. ...

Good morning everyone. I am Alex, I am a video editor from Italy and I am looking for some one who can help me with job I have for my clients. I am cutting the videos and create product video, you will have to add song a grafics ...Alex, I am a video editor from Italy and I am looking for some one who can help me with job I have for my clients. I am cutting the videos and create product video, you will have to add song a grafics to make better podcast videos and interviews. What I need: - Proof of your skill and the video you have done How the service work: You will receive the material You will edit and create a short showreel to present the job you have done You will send me the showreel and I will decide to buy the video You will link the folder on drive to download ...

My main objective for this project is to significantly increase website traffic. I'm particularly interested in boosting organic traffic, which will undoubtedly introduce more potential clientele to my offerings. Here's what I'm looking for: • A skilled SEO expert who can implement effective strategies for attracting organic traffic to my site. • Knowledge and experience in ranking short-tail keywords are a must, as these keywords have been identified as the most relevant for my project scope. • A professional with proven track records in not just improving search engine rankings, but also in boosting online visibility of their past clients' websites. In essence, I need an individual or team committed to pushing my website to the top of search e...

I am seeking a freelancer with excellent English language skills and familiarity with Discord to play a game on my behalf for a duration of 20 minutes. Your previous gaming experience will be greatly appreciated. You will also be required to live stream your gameplay, so please ensure you are comfortable and equipped to do so. Relevant experience and a detailed proposal on how you would approach this task are essential.

In need of a proficient proofreader, ideally with a strong background in the fantasy genre, to meticulously scan through my short story, which is under 1,000 words. Your primary responsibility will revolve around: - Identifying and rectifying any grammatical, punctuation, or spelling mistakes. - Ensuring consistency and correctness in language usage. Knowledge and understanding of the fantasy genre is a major plus, as it will enable a more comprehensive and context-specific examination of the story. Remember, the goal is refinement, not redefinition. Let's keep the narrative's integrity intact.

I'm seeking a proficient translator to translate some marketing materials from English to Acadian French. These materials are intended for a general public audience, requiring attention to cultural details and public-friendly language. - Translate English text to Acadian French, ensuring it appeals to a general public audience - Conserve the tone, style and branding in the translation - Proofread the finished work to ensure 100% accuracy and readability Ideal skills for this job would include: - Proven experience in translating marketing content - Native or near-native fluency in Acadian French and English - Excellent understanding of cultural details in Acadian French communities - Ability to work on a tight schedule. - NO use of AI - your work will be thorou...

I'm seeking a skilled translator to convert English Legal documents into Spanish. To ensure a thorough context understanding and accurate translation, experience in legal document translations is preferable. The translation should be top-quality work. Ideal Candidate Must Have: - Expertise in English to Spanish translation. - A strong understanding and knowledge of legal terminology. - Exceptional accuracy and attention to detail. Key Responsibilities: - Translate English legal documents into Spanish. - Ensure translated content conveys original meaning. - NO USE OF AI - strictly forbidden and we thoroughly check all work. I need a combination of a word-to-word translation and also, I need you to understand and reproduce the document's meaning and tone i...

I am seeking a freelancer with excellent English language skills and familiarity with Discord to play a game on my behalf for a duration of 20 minutes. Your previous gaming experience will be greatly appreciated. You will also be required to live stream your gameplay, so please ensure you are comfortable and equipped to do so. Relevant experience and a detailed proposal on how you would approach this task are essential.

...writer, Have you played the games Lovelink or MeChat? Our app is similar to that. Your job will be to write a raunchy, seductive female character who will flirt and make the reader attracted towards her, ofcourse she will have a pain or a problem in her life that the reader/player will resolve. The story is R rated and targeted towards male readers. The test task is to write a character bio, short summary of the story and 120 line conversational text with added choices and picture choices. Check MeChat app for clear reference. If selected, we require 6000 words and will be paid around $400/$500 for the script. And a bonus if you are selected in this test. But this test task will be unpaid and you will get 2/3 days to finish the test. If you understand the task and are ready f...

I had (till earlier today) a subdomain at a dedicated server that holds a node.js app that is accessed by a subdomain named The app has been just moved to another server, a ubuntu VPS and is working fine using new server IP port 3000. The main domain is still hosted at the origi...and we will be kept there, just the subdomain is moving. At the original server (main domain) I have created a DNS record pointing the subdomain to the VPS IP and it is accessing it correct (ping is fine). But for the app to work I need to set 2 things: a) subdomain configured at the new vps server b) point all the trafic from the subdomain to the port 3000 (where the node.js app is) so, in short, I need This task is to be done now, if you are busy, please dont place a bid.

I'm actively seeking an English-speaking male actor, aged between 25 and 35, to be the face of my advertisement videos and a sales video. The ideal candidate should possess the following qualities: - Native or fluent English speaking abilities - Ability to adopt a formal tone - Introverted personality As the actor, your role will involve presenting scripts effectively and engagingly in video format. The advertisements and sales video you'll be working on doesn't target a specific group, thereby requiring a level of versatility in your performance. Knowledge of sales video production would be greatly beneficial but not mandatory. There will be 1 sales video with an average duration of 7 minutes and 15 creative ads, each with a duration of 1 minute Please on...

I need a talented Telugu dubbing artist who can add a touch of horror to a short video of mine, which is less than 5 minutes long. Key Requirements: - Exceptional fluency in Telugu - Prior experience in dubbing horror genre content - Ability to deliver project as soon as possible Your application will be more appealing if you have a sample project, you've worked on, that best showcases your dubbing skills, especially in the horror genre. A quick turn-around is crucial for this project. Put on your menacing voice and let's scare people together!

To describe a beautiful flower, you can use the adjectives like aromatic, elegant, fragrant, pretty, radiant, ravishing, is the part of a plant which is often brightly coloured, grows at the end of a stem, and only survives for a short time. Each individual flower is tiny.

I'm looking for an expert in market research, with a strong understanding of the Airbnb platform and the Barcelona property market. Key tasks include: - Examining the demand for short-term rentals in Barcelona, with a focus on studio/1/2-bedroom properties. - Identifying the most popular neighborhoods for Airbnb within Barcelona. - Determining the most profitable property size, estimated occupancy rate, and estimated nightly rate. - Providing a competitor analysis of other vacation rental platforms in the city. Skills and experience: - Familiarity with Airbnb and other vacation rental platforms - Experience in market research - Knowledge of the Barcelona property market.

...competencies in web design and development, preferably with specific experience in creating real estate websites. The perfect candidate will demonstrate proficiency in the following functionalities: - Creation of an optimized user-friendly contact form for client inquiries. - Implementation of a responsive live chat functionality to enable real-time interaction with prospective leads. - Installation of a short mortgage application function to capture potential customers. The overall design of the website needs to be captivating and professional, instilling trust, and exuding credibility. Your design expertise will be significant in achieving this modern and sleek look. Great attention will be paid to how well you can strike a balance between an aesthetically pleasing layout and...

To describe a beautiful flower, you can use the adjectives like aromatic, elegant, fragrant, pretty, radiant, ravishing, is the part of a plant which is often brightly coloured, grows at the end of a stem, and only survives for a short time. Each individual flower is tiny.

Hi everyone, we are the company Fancy Look Color Lenses looking for a model to photograph colored contact lenses. What are we looking for? 1) a beautiful and smiling girl 2) brown eyes only 3) experience with fitting contact lenses 4) ability to make up and arrange hair independently 5)Quality camera We have 10 shades that we want to photograph, of each shade we want to take 3 photos...Color Lenses looking for a model to photograph colored contact lenses. What are we looking for? 1) a beautiful and smiling girl 2) brown eyes only 3) experience with fitting contact lenses 4) ability to make up and arrange hair independently 5)Quality camera We have 10 shades that we want to photograph, of each shade we want to take 3 photos + a video In total it comes out to be 30 photos + 10 short...

I have a Brazilian Portuguese SRT file that I need merged onto my English, MP4 movie. The film's duration spans 1 to 2 hours. Aligning the timing of the subtitles is essential throughout the film. Looking for a professional with: - Proven experience in audiovisual translation and subtitling. - Proficiency in English and Brazilian Portuguese. - Attention to detail, ensuring the subtitles match the film's content accurately. The project will consider successful if the subtitles are seamlessly integrated and do not interfere with the viewing experience. Please share relevant past works in your proposal. Thank you.

I require the expertise of a talented translator to convert the content of my technical website from Nigerian to English. The website comprises 1-10 pages of content that need to be high-fidelity translated in order to suit my international audience. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Nigerian and English language. - Previous experience in translating technical content. - Excellent attention to detail to ensure the correct terminologies are used. Time is of the essence for this project, so punctuality is greatly appreciated.