What to write in a wedding card funny jobs

I am on the hunt for an experienced wedding videographer and photographer who captures the heart and soul of my big day. Key project details: - I am particularly keen on recording a highlight reel of the day's events and obtaining candid shots of the wedding party and guests. - You'll be needed for a duration extending 8+ hours. - Your expertise in Traditional and posed style of videography and photography is paramount here. Please ensure to share your previous works of a similar nature while bidding. It'd give us a good understanding of your capabilities. I'm really hoping to celebrate and relive the precious moments of my wedding day forever through your creations. Bring your creativity to...

I need skilled developers to Find/design an API. The purpose of this API will allow checking of Indian IPO allotment statuses using a PAN Card number. Developer has to find API. I don't have any API. Features: - I'm interested in real-time IPO allotment status updates. It's important to me to have real-time data, so experience with real-time data fetching and API development is a must. Knowledge of the financial sector, especially around Indian IPOs, will be considered a strong advantage. Note & Terms: Please only send quote If you know very well in these industries. I will pay amount only one time for project. Do not ask any Advance Payment.

I'm searching for a proficient .NET developer to design and build an MRZ scanning plugin for Windows utilizing the device camera. The plugin must be able to handle the following documents: - Passports - ID Cards - Emirates ID Card (National ID of United Arab Emirates) No specific MRZ scanning library is currently preferred, so I welcome any suggestions. Ideal skills and experience for the job: - Proficiency in .NET language - Experience working with MRZ scanning plugins - Familiarity with different types of ID documents - Ability to integrate this plugin into Windows systems successfully - Experience with device camera utilization - Strong understanding of MRZ data extraction I am anticipating a product that efficiently captures th...

I'm in urgent need of a graphic designer who specializes in card designing. The project involves designing a set of cards following Vastu principles. Key requirements: - You must have proven experience in designing cards, particularly in the area of Vastu or similar spiritual practices. - The project is time-sensitive, so I need someone who can start immediately and deliver the final product quickly. - we will have to design 17 Cards. Please let me know about your previous experiences and provide some samples from your portfolio. Looking forward to working with you soon.

I am looking for a talented designer who can craft a standard-sized (3.5" x 2") visiting card. The design should be double-sided and incorporate the following elements: - My name and contact information - My company's logo and tagline - My social media handles You should be skilled in creating clean and professional designs that leave an impression. Previous experience in creating visiting cards would be appreciated. Please provide examples of your past work in your bid. The project timeline will be discussed once a designer has been chosen. I look forward to seeing your creative solutions.

...the lookout for a competent and creative designer to create business cards for my co-founder and me. The goal is to have cards that portray our brand in a sleek, minimalist way, embodying professionalism and simplicity. Below are the specifics: - Our contact details, including names, website URL, social media handle, and email addresses, need to be incorporated into the design. - We favor a color scheme of green, light brown, black, white, and an offset of yellow. We’ll provide our current logo to guide your color choices. - We're seeking a minimalist and clean design. Less is more for us. The design should be clutter-free and easy to read, but still visually appealing. The ideal freelancer for this task ...

I'm in need of a skilled Android developer who's proficient in both front-end and back-end development. The project involves building an e-commerce app with a couple of key features. Key Features: - Product Catalog: The app should have a neatly designed product catalog that displays all available items. - Shopping Cart and Checkout: A functional shopping cart system should be integrated, along with a smooth and secure checkout process. - Payment Integration: The app will require integration with a credit/debit card processing system for seamless payments. Ideal candidates for this project will have: - Prior experience in developing Android e-commerce apps. - Proficiency in both front-end (UI/UX) and b...

I'd like a dedicated online hub where trading card enthusiasts can engage in a vibrant marketplace. This platform will host a wide variety of trading cards ranging from sports, to Pokemon and One Piece collectables. I'm leaning towards a design that is clean and modern. Key website features should include: - User Registration and Login: Applicants should be able to create personal profiles with ease, ensuring quick access to the trading card marketplace. This enables users to post their requests, of cards that might not be available in common markets and or post them with their desired value( Looking for X card for $$) ( Looking for X card graded with XX uploading a picture...

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I'm looking for a creative and experienced screenwriter to help me with my draft a satirical TV show script. Key Requirements: - The script should focus on satirical comedy - The primary setting for the screenplay is modern day - The target audience for this project is 30-40 young parents Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in writing satirical comedy is a plus - Experience in writing for TV, online or audio content - Ability to tailor comedy for a specific target audience - Understanding of modern day culture and trends - Excellent creative writing skills Your deliverable would be a well-crafted, engaging and funny script that resonates with the target audience. If you have a knack for sa...

I need a proficient researcher and writer to handle a job of writing my PhD Confirmation of Enrolment document. The document has already been written but need to make it up to 6000 words or more. The field of study of my PhD is Translation. The research investigates the translation of specific transcriptions translated from Arabic into English and will be doing a parallel corpus study to do that. Key task: - Finish writing my PhD Enrollment Confirmation document while maintaining the academic integrity and tone of the document. - adjusting the title of thesis Ideal skills: - Experience in academic writing and research is highly preferred. - Fluent in English and Arabic. - Knowledge in academic regulations and terms wou...

I'm in need of a skilled Android developer who's proficient in both front-end and back-end development. The project involves building an e-commerce app with a couple of key features. Key Features: - Product Catalog: The app should have a neatly designed product catalog that displays all available items. - Shopping Cart and Checkout: A functional shopping cart system should be integrated, along with a smooth and secure checkout process. - Payment Integration: The app will require integration with a credit/debit card processing system for seamless payments. Ideal candidates for this project will have: - Prior experience in developing Android e-commerce apps. - Proficiency in both front-end (UI/UX) and ba...

I'm looking for an experienced designer to create my business stationery, this includes a visiting card, two envelopes and a letterhead. All files should be in CDR format. I wish for a minimalistic design style to keep everything very clean and to the point. Although the exact dimensions were not clarified, you should ideally be knowledgeable of average industry standards and be able to guide me in this area if needed. Please include your experience with similar stationery designs in your application.

Were looking for a talented graphic designer with logo and branding experience. We would like to improve our logo and our business card design. The look and feel should remain modern and professional. Deliverables: 1. Improved logo in the various format 2. Improved 2 sided business card that is ready for print with the bleeds / margins Budget $100 Files:

I am looking for a Python programmer with a math background (statistics) who can help calculate the optimal strategy and house edge for various permutations of a casino card game similar to blackjack.

...Designs: Logo Designs: Minimalist, iconic logos that represent each department. For example, for the defense industry, a minimalist logo design featuring a Trojan horse head with armor details. Both logos should resemble each other by about 90%. Business Card Designs: Professional business cards for both sectors, incorporating company information and the logo designs. Social Media Graphics: Suitable profile and cover images for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, and LinkedIn in appropriate formats. Other Printed and Digital Materials: Company letterhead, envelopes, brochures, presentation templates, and other corporate documents. Email Signatures and Templates: Designed to maintain brand integrity using sample names and departments. Delivery F...

I need a modern business card design with my supplied logo on it. The design should be bright and eye-catching while maintaining a professional look. I would like the business card to have a matte finish for a subtle touch. Ideal skills and experience for this job: - Graphic design expertise, especially in business card design - Proficiency in modern design aesthetics - Ability to work with bright color palettes - Experience with matte finish and print design in general. - If possible text should be embossed. - Colors should compliment logo. - Front and back finishes. - Small QR code pointing to the company's LinkedIn page on back. - Open to design suggestions on back.

I'm in need of a skilled developer who's proficient with Next Js and Medusa.js. The project involves implementing e-commerce functionality and integration with external APIs. Your responsibilities will include: - Implementing e-commerce functionality: You will be required to set up a complete e-commerce system in Medusa.js. - Integrating external APIs: I need you to integrate the project with a payment gateway API and a shipping API. - Payment Gateway API: The payment gateway API should support credit card, Apple Pay, and Stripe payment methods. If you're a talented developer with experience in e-commerce development and API integration, and you're confident in your abilities with Next...

I'm a student visa holder seeking professional help with the EB-2 visa petition process. I plan to self-petition and need expert guidance from the initial filing through to the Green Card. Key Requirements: - Comprehensive Knowledge: You should be well-versed in EB-2 visa requirements, particularly for self-petitioners. - Filing Expertise: Experience in correctly preparing and submitting the petition is essential. - Proactive Support: I'm looking for a professional who can guide me through the process, offering support and advice where necessary. - Timeliness: Meeting deadlines is crucial in this process, so I require someone who can work efficiently. Your assistance in this crucial stage of my immigration journey i...

...experts to build a dynamic website with appointment booking functionality for a small, local business. Key Responsibilities: - Develop a medium-sized website using NextJS, Firebase, Twilio, Google Calendar, Git, and PayPal - Use modern frontend design patterns and maintain high levels of cybersecurity Ideal Skills: - Strong experience in NextJS, Git, and Firebase - Proven track record with booking systems - Proficiency with email sending, such as Twilio - Familiarity with Google Calendar and PayPal APIs Project Brief: Build a responsive and accessible website with a modern yet familiar aesthetic for a rifle range in NextJS which has 3 pages: 1. Home page 2. Contact page 3. Booking page The rifle range has 7 lanes, whe...

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I am seeking a proficient web designer to significantly uplift my developing Squarespace website. My site includes six pages: "Home", 'About Me,' 'Therapy,' 'Social and Behavior Change,' 'Educator,' and 'Contact Me.' I want this website to really show who I am and the services I can provide as a psychologist and consultant. Your tasks would involve: - Enhancing Design Elements: Updating the look and feel of my site to keep it as visually appealing as possible and personal to me. - Improving Navigation: Making the user interface more user-friendly, ensuring site visitors can easily find their way around. - Creating Templates: I also want to create a business card, ...

I'm in need of a professional photographer with a traditional style for a small pre-wedding engagement, happening in a month's time in San Ramon, CA. Key Responsibilities: - Capture the special moments like ring exchange and speeches - Take group photos with specific people as requested Ideal Skills: - Camera proficiency - Understanding of lighting, composition and framing - People skills for engaging with attendees - Must be a pro at traditional photography One month from now, you'll be part of a loving celebration, and your work will help us remember this special day for years to come.

Looking for an experienced designer to create a business card with a sophisticated and professional edge. The card should include my name and title, the company name and logo, as well as contact information. - Style: The design should be elegant and professional. Creativity in maintaining this style is encouraged. - Colors: A custom color scheme will be used. Further details will be provided upon project commencement. - Skills: Ideally, the freelancer has experience in graphic design, particularly with corporate branding and business card creation. A keen eye for color coordination and professional aesthetics is crucial. I look forward to your innovative design ideas and confident execution.

I need a proficient Solidity and Web3 developer to help build a smart contract on the Ethereum network. The primary functionality of the contract is to facilitate fund transfers and sharing. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Solid experience in Ethereum smart contract development - Expertise in Solidity and libraries - Familiarity with test networks I need to create a smart contract and wallet connection using metamask. Here's an example; On this link, they only can donate using a credit card or debit card. I want to pay with eth test network (using metamask) and the smart-contract is; Person A needs 2000ETH for their project with a deadline of 30 days and share the profit 10% af...

I'm looking for a graphic designer who can skillfully change the background of an image to create a new environment. Specifically, the image is of my wife on our wedding day, she really wanted a picture of her with the car, but we forgot on the day and missed the opportunity. Key Tasks: - Add picture of her beetle into the background of a wedding picture - Insert a high-resolution, realistic new environment - Position my Beetle car prominently in the image - Images can be sent over Ideally, you have previous experience with car image editing and can demonstrate a high level of attention to detail. I'm expecting the result to be realistic and in high definition. Proficiency in Pho...

I'm seeking a talented designer who can create a minimal and modern stationery set for my company, including a visiting card, two envelope designs, and a letterhead. Although I prefer the information included to be limited to the company name and logo, I am open to creative interpretations. It is strictly required that all designs are delivered in Corel Draw (CDR) format. You must have: * Proven experience in graphic design, especially with a minimalistic, modern aesthetic * Samples of past stationery work you've completed Successful freelancers will: * Include a portfolio showcasing their previous designs with a similar style * Provide an application that outlines their creative appro...

Searching for a female voice actor with a charming and compassionate tone to bring life to our wedding video narration. NO AI. - Your task is to provide engaging, heartfelt narration that mirrors the love, joy, and excitement present at special occasions like weddings. - Ideally, you should have prior experience with voice acting for video work, particularly in the events or wedding industry. - Understanding of our target audience, which is primarily made up of individuals planning their weddings or other special occasions, will be a plus. - Please provide samples of previous work, especially those showcasing your ability to add warmth and charm to the narration. This project will require strong voice acting ...

write reflective report as a Risk manager for project management 1k-1.5k words in 24 hours Send me the details

Creative: We want a design that stands out and conveys our brand's identity. We want something unique and intriguing. While innovation is crucial, the design must radiate professionalism and fit our brand image. We strive to mix inventiveness with credibility. Two-sided Design: The business card must use both sides to provide contact information and a quick summary of our services. Sides should blend seamlessly. I need the PDF and AI versions of the final design.

I am looking for a professional graphic designer who can work on our invitation card. We want a professional Wedding Anniversary Invitation card design.

I am searching for a professional photographer to capture my wedding moments set in both indoor and outdoor locations. Key Requirements: - Must specialize in traditional wedding photography. - Availability for approximately 4-8 hours of work on the wedding day. Skills and Experience needed: - Have a good eye for capturing the most beautiful and heart-touching moments. - Must have experience with both indoor and outdoor photography. - Prior experience in traditional wedding photography. Having a wide-ranging portfolio with examples of weddings shot in various settings will be a definitive advantage.

I'm seeking a professional who can deliver a magical first dance for my wedding. Specifically, we would like an edit of two songs to create a seamless soundtrack for that memorable moment. Tasks include: - Listening to and merging 'Don't Care Darlin’ by Nathaniel Rateliff with 'My Girl’ by Yukon Blonde, taking care to ensure a smooth transition between the two. The ideal freelancer will have: - Significant experience with audio editing and an ear for matching beats and rhythms. - Excellent communication skills to understand our vision and to patiently guide us through the choreography process. I look forward to working with you to create an unforgettable first dance.

I am looking for a professional developer who can ensure the security of my payment information by integrating ReCAPTCHA into my website. This will aid in enhancing the overall security of the payment process. Key tasks include: - Integrating ReCAPTCHA into the payment information section of the website - Ensuring ReCAPTCHA works seamlessly with the payment process - Ensuring user experience is not compromised while enhancing security. Ideal skills for this project include: - Experience with payment gateways and integrations - Proficiency in web security, particularly with implementing ReCAPTCHA - Strong understanding of user experience and ability to balance it with security measures. - Familiarity with Credit card, PayPal and other payment system i...

We need to make improvements to the existing website or create a new one from scratch, using as a basis what we already have. Additionally, we require conducting a competitive analysis to identify the keywords that will allow us to effectively compete with other air taxi services. The revamped or improved page should include an integrated Local Bank payment gateway to accept all credit cards. It should also have a booking system that allows customers to select dates and destinations. The system will display the different available aircraft, as well as additional services, such as escort from arrival at the international airport to the domestic flight terminal, or customized tours and overflights on the des...

Retouched 6 wedding photos as discussed

I'm looking to hire a talented designer and developer with solid experience in Fintech for a digital bank project. Here's a brief overview: - The digital bank should have key functionalities such as account management, online payments - Online payments should support credit card payments, mobile wallet payments, and bank transfers. - The ideal user interface would be professional and corporate in design. Your main responsibilities will include the design and development of this digital bank. Ideal candidates should have a strong background in Fintech, and be able to create a professional and user-friendly digital bank that fulfills these specified requirements. If you're confident in your...

I'm in need of a comprehensive wedding website and app that will serve as a one-stop solution for all my wedding-related needs. Key Features: - RSVP Management: The app should be able to track and manage RSVPs from all invitees. - Wedding Countdown: A countdown feature to the wedding date. - Photo Gallery: A place to store and showcase the couple's photos and memories. - Guest Management: The app should have two excel sheets, one for the bride's guests and one for the groom's guests. - Dietary Preferences: A feature to collect and manage dietary preferences of guests. - Seating Charts: Ability to create and manage seating arrangements. - Communication: Integration ...

I'm in need of a couple of retro style logos to use for branding purposes. I'm specifically looking for a design that reflects the style and essence of the 1950s era, so it's important that you have a good understanding of that period. Key Requirements: - Retro Style: The logos should have a distinct vintage feel, reminiscent of the 1950s style. - Branding: The primary purpose of these logos is for branding, so they need to be visually appealing and memorable. Your design should: - Incorporate Specific Symbols or Motifs: I am looking for logos that are not only retro in style but also incorporate symbols or motifs that were iconic or representative of the 1950s era. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Strong grasp of retr...

So for the competition, please photoshop one of the photos of Hannah Palmer which you can find here (you can choose any) and add a cat in the picture. The one who is selected will be asked to make a series of photos to include the same cat. Most important is that it looks realistic, also a bonus if it looks funny. Note that the offered budget is just for the 1 winning picture. You will be paid 50€ for 10 adjusted pictures.

I'm in urgent need of an API that generates temporary passwords for a Tuya smart lock. The main functionality I need is the ability to generate these passwords. The delivery method is not of concern as I just need a working sample of the JSON body for creating the API. Ideal Skills: - Experience with developing APIs, particularly for smart devices - Proficient in JSON and API design - Familiarity with the Tuya platform is a huge plus - Ability to work under a tight deadline - Excellent communication skills Please note that the project is required ASAP. We have obtained these locks , we try through api to create temporary passwords like it can be done through the app without luck. Also the device permision is on read. C...

I am looking for a wedding photographer for our special day. I am seeking someone who can provide traditional wedding photography. This is a one-time event, so the photographer needs to be experienced in capturing the essence, emotions, and moments of a wedding. Key requirements: - Wedding photography experience - Ability to provide traditional style photography - Available for up to 4 hours Please provide a portfolio or examples of previous work in your bid.

I'm looking for designer to create a cheeky, funny and cool Zebra mascot in a cartoon style. This mascot will be used for personal purposes, decorating a Land Rover (with a zebra-design) for a fun rally and to print stickers as giveaways. The mascot is also used on the team website. Key Requirements: - Create a Zebra mascot (a roughly square head-and-shoulders portrait). The design should be cartoonish and exude a sense of humor and coolness. - The mascot could be designed with a baseball cap. - The background should be white and the cartoon should be outlined with a black line. - To print large and small sized stickers (maximum size about 12 x 12 inch or 30 x 30 cm). To...

We are seeking a competent UX designer to create a game card face and interaction for children aged 2-5 years. The primary purpose of this project is to: - Improve user experience - Include static card design - Craft interactive contents design The ideal freelancer would need experience with UX design for young users and would be responsible for creating playful, functional, and aesthetically-pleasing designs. The designer should have a proficiency in creating child-centred illustrations and be well-versed in making these illustrations interactive and easy to navigate for small children. Their past work should demonstrate the ability to blend functionality with fun design elements. Their skills sh...

I'm in need of a professional and experienced web developer to create a user-friendly web form. This form will allow users to upload multiple files, provide personal details, and make payments using Paypal, bank transfer, or credit card. I want this form to be simple, reliable, and secure. Key Requirements: - File Upload: The form should allow users to upload multiple files. There should be a clear indication of the allowed file types and a size limit. The uploaded files should be go to a Google Drive where a file handling automation script can be used. - Personal Details: The form should have fields for essential personal details. Although the specifics were not provided earlier, it's saf...

As a catering service provider, I have a niche in handling high-end, luxury Indian weddings. My target clientele are the individuals planning for their wedding day who are in need of a catering service. For this specific project, I am seeking a creative and experienced freelancer to design a modern and elegant flyer. This visual content should effectively promote my catering service while reminiscing the lavish beauty of Indian weddings. Important elements to feature: - Customized Menu Planning - On-site Preparation and Service - Exclusive Indian Delicacies - Live Counters - Pure Vegetarian Services Don't want too much text since poster will be used for boosting . Poster has to be instagram story size , ...

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I require a wedding photographer for my upcoming wedding. The ceremony will hopefully be held in a beautiful, natural outdoor setting, but if the weather does not permit it will be held inside. I'm looking for someone who can capture the event in a traditional style. Key Requirements: - Location: The wedding will be held at Hotel Villa Honegg. - Style: I prefer traditional photography, focusing on classic, timeless shots. - Coverage: The event will be relatively brief, so the photographer should be able to work efficiently and effectively within a shorter timeframe, ensuring all key moments are captured. We will require about 2 hours, so this will include the ceremony and then some time for photos with the family...