Of all the things you could have asked me to write about, did you just have to go and pick the hardest? Sigh. Right, about me, then.
In my head, I'm this genius polymath Renaissance man that only has to spend a few days to master anything that he possibly needs to. Oh, so he can't paint a Vermeer? That's merely because he hasn't given it the attention it needs. Not too much though, because as I said, he's a genius Renaissance.. you get it. Maybe a day or two of going over painting lessons and, voila, a Vermeer!
So, in my head, I'm the world's foremost programmer and, given enough time - and I don't need as much as ordinary mortals, mind - I can build any software system in the world. In my head, I'm the world's foremost programmer who is also a closet (and future?) novelist. In my head, I've already written the next Lord of the Rings. All that's left is the minor matter of, er, putting things to paper.
In my head, I'm the most rational man in the world, the most even tempered; I'm the smartest man in the world, and the most humble; I'm the most erudite man in the world, and one with an unquenchable thirst for learning. In short, I'm perfect. Did I mention that my killer looks have been breaking hearts since the dawn of time?
So, all that's in my head. Say the unthinkable happens, and I see myself as somebody else does (THEY'RE ALL WRONG!). I'd probably be a fairly average guy with a love for computers, books, philosophy and snark. I'd still have killer looks though.