Programmable Sound Module

I do door to door sales for Terminix pest control. I am a canvassing inspector and wear a Batman belt with things like insect pinning forceps, entomology vials, a mechanical aspirator (bug vac), a pop-up magnifier, a telescoping mound probe etc. You get the idea haha. I'm often told in comic jest that I remind folks of a Ghostbusters. My nickname among colleagues is inspector gadget. I thought it might be fun to have a programmable sound module on my belt with a built-in speaker. It needs atleast 3 push-buttons, up to 5 depending on what we decide to make it do. We could play a clip from Ghostbusters, another from Inspector Gadget. I would mind having a panic button for those moments when I find somebody who won't shut the hell up and let me leave! We could pre-record the voice of my wife saying <voxer walkie talkie noise> "Ken, where are you. You're 5 minutes late to your next appt. Customer called" ... something like that. I have other projects involving mechanisms I'd be willing to hire someone for. I need a professional tinkerer.