Need someone to finish minor website template change- URGENT

I need someone to do the following things to a template for me and do the work NOW in real time on SKype. If you can't work now and get the job done TONIGHT DO NOT APPLY! I've gone through 4 guys that have put my job on the back of their list- If you don't have time to FINISH this TONIGHT with me DON'T APPLY! I won't repeat that again. Also, BID Accordingly, don't bitch about how you're worth 10x what you bid on a simple job- YOU'RE the one bidding , not me- BE RESPONSIBLE- And KNOW HOW TO Code!!! Most of the guys I've had don't know how to do simple things. This is a EASY job for the right person! Work tonight get paid tonight! Duties: Integrate a gradient background color on the homepage. Integrate 1 image on the homepage. Remove 3 pieces of text from a js slider Integrate the header and footer from the homepage into 8 inside pages. If you are SMART you'll know that you can split the header and footer on the homepage and do the integration in under a hour. KNOW how to do this! Or don't apply! Put 2 you tube videos on one inside page. Adjust a few text colors. THAT'S all! Pretty simple huh! If you get the job and you're good, don't cause me any headaches and don't bitch about having to work and make me have to chase you down just to beg you to work on this- I'll keep you on my list for future jobs and invite you on freelancer when they come up. So, be smart, responsible, and have a good work ethic- I've dealt with to much nonsense this wk. I won't tolerate egomaniac programmers who have to be begged to work!