Funny quotes text file jobs

I am looking for a talented graphic designer to help me create some cool and funny T-shirts for my brand targeting professionals in the IT industry. You don't need to know code, but understanding some tech humor will be helpful! Key Responsibilities: - Translate my ideas into visually appealing and humorous designs for T-shirts - Create innovative and quirky designs with an insider IT perspective - Collaborate with me to ensure that the designs appeal to our target audience and align with our brand image Experience & Skills: - Proven experience in graphic design and expertise on design software and technologies. (Only Basic understanding of IT) - Strong aesthetic skills with the ability to combine various colors, fonts, and layouts - Understanding of the IT industry, ...

I need a SolidWorks STEP file converted to an editable format for design modification in SolidWorks. Need the full project zip every component seperated.

I require a talented freelancer to construct a text-based logo, along with an engaging introduction focused on emphasizing my company's mission and values. Additionally, I'm looking for the concept and design of formal business attire. Requirements: - Aesthetic and definitive text-based logo design. - Draft an introduction with captivation, mirroring our mission and values. - Original and professional designs for formal business attire. Ideal Skills: - Extensive experience with logo design and typography. - Excellent written communication for the introduction. - Creativity and expertise in formal attire design. - Understanding of the apparel industry's current trends. - Proactive, innovative and deadline-oriented. And providing the type of logo we nee...

I'm looking for a skilled Excel professional to clean a text-based dataset for me. The dataset is not massive, but it's quite messy. The data cleaning task is relatively straightforward and basic. You'll have to perform operations such as removing duplicates and adjusting formats. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Excel: You should be comfortable working with large datasets in Excel, including applying formulas and functions. - Data Cleaning Expertise: Prior experience in cleaning text data is a major plus. - Attention to Detail: The devil is in the details; I need someone who won't overlook small nuances in the data set. Once the data is cleaned, I'll need you to carry out some basic analysis on it. This will involve running some sim...

I'm in need of a web-based job card system that will allow the creation and editing of digital job cards. There is also a requirement for quotes, parts / inventory, archived jobs, and customer management. Both employees and managers will need access to the system, with an admin login section for authorization of completed job cards. We would like the system to export completed jobs to CSV file for automated invoice generation in Quickbooks Online. We will also require the system to import the customer database from Quickbooks in CSV format. Key Functionalities: - Creation and Editing of Jobs - Ability to use system on-site / remotely through the use of iOS or Android web browsing. Some - Ability to select a simple job status from a drop-down combo box eg. In-progress...

Develop macro-enabled Excel file to handle CSV

I need assistance in copying text content from my smartphone and pasting it into the appropriate place. Key Requirements: - Copying text from my smartphone- The texts are not in a document but on my phone. A good understanding of how to copy and paste from a phone is essential. - Paste into the appropriate location- The text will need to be pasted into the correct place, whether it be a website, document, or elsewhere. Time Expectation: - I am looking for someone who can assist me part-time. This means the job doesn't need to be completed all at once. A longer-term arrangement is possible if the collaboration is successful. Ideal Skills: - Understanding of basic phone functions - Strong attention to detail - Ability to follow instructions accurately If you ...

I'm in need of a creative and innovative logo expert who can design a compelling text-based logo for my brand. The logo must convey a sense of innovation through its design. Key requirements: - The logo should be primarily text-based, ensuring that the brand name features prominently within the design. - The design should embody a sense of creativity and innovation, resonating with a target audience that appreciates forward-thinking brands. - The logo must be suitable for online use, enhancing its visibility and appeal on websites and social media platforms. Ideal candidates for this project should possess: - Proven experience in designing text-based logos - A strong portfolio that demonstrates creativity and innovation in logo design - Understanding of the nuan...

...extract a table from an HTML file. I need an expert in Python, Pandas and BeautifulSoup4 to review and make minor adjustments as necessary. The purpose of the table extraction is for data analysis. The HTML file has multiple tables with some nested elements, not overly complex. Key Requirements: - Need an expert in Python programming - Familiarity with Pandas and Beautiful Soup - Experience in data analysis The job mainly involves reviewing the existing code, fixing any issues that may hinder the data extraction, and ensuring that the extracted table is ready for analysis. Please note that no additional data preprocessing is required, just fixing the current code. --- name "iXBRL" , inside folder contain multiple html file(hundreds to thousands), each...

I need to have the design of a face mask made. It will cover the whole face (refer full face ). The design should look like a funny, cartoonish, smiling red colored car. It should have at least eyes and smile. If I print it and put it on my face, the eyes should be in place of real eyes, the smile should be in place of real smile i.e. the proportions of the final image should match accordingly. The resolution should be at least 2160x3840. Also check other reference images. The mask should be a standard size that fits most people comfortably. Don't give me a random quote, give me a real quote.

I have a significant number of handwritten documents that need to be typed. The typed content will be used for data analysis. Key Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in accurate typing - Experience in handling handwritten materials - Strong understanding of data analysis Your role will essentially involve transcribing the content from these handwritten documents into a digital format. It is crucial that the data is typed accurately and with minimal errors. The typed data will be used for analysis, so the freelancer should ensure that the content is easily readable and properly formatted for data analysis purposes. This project is ideal for someone who has experience with data entry, accuracy in typing, and understanding of the importance of clean data for analysis.

I have a project that requires purely text data entry. I have a set of handwritten notes which need to be entered into a spreadsheet. Key Requirements: - The data is text-based, and it's crucial that the freelancer can transcribe this accurately and efficiently. - Proficiency in using spreadsheet software like Excel or Google Sheets is a must. Ideal Skills: - Fast and accurate typing skills - Proficient in using spreadsheet software - Experience with data entry, especially from handwritten sources

I'm looking for a skilled and reliable data entry specialist to assist with a record keeping project. The task involves transcribing handwritten notes into digital format. Key Responsibilities: - Transcribing handwritten text notes into digital format while maintaining accuracy and attention to detail. - Ensuring the data is organized and stored appropriately for efficient record keeping purposes. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in data entry with a preference for experience in transcribing handwritten text. - Attention to detail and accuracy in transcribing to ensure the data is correctly entered. - Familiarity with record keeping practices is a plus. The role needs someone who is detail-oriented, reliable, and able to work efficiently. The goal is to smoo...

I'm looking for someone to convert a PDF documen...document. The main purpose of this conversion is to extract text from the PDF content which has complex formatting, including elements such as tables and footnotes. Key Requirements: - Accurate Extraction: The primary goal here is to ensure that all text is accurately extracted from the PDF file and transferred to the Word document without any loss or distortion. - Formatting Preservation: While the layout may be complex, I'm looking for the freelancer to maintain the font styles and sizes as they appear in the original document. The ideal candidate for this job would have: - Proficiency in PDF and Word processing tools - Experience with maintaining formatting during content transfer - Attention to detail ...

I am looking for the best movie/ Tv show editor, I need someone that knows about movies, especially old classics like MacGyver, cheers, The A-team, and police academy. You MUST KNOW KNOW ABOUT MOVIES AND TV SHOWS AND MUST BE ABLE TO choose VERY ENGAGING AND FUNNY MOVIE CLIPS. Only Apply if you can make videos like this, ) You will also be asked to provide 2 min sample of a given topic to make sure we are hiring the right person.

I am seeking a data entry specialist to help enter less than 100 pages of text data into a PDF. Your role will involve: - Accurately inputting provided text data - Organizing data effectively within the PDF Ideal candidates for this job should have: - Excellent data entry skills, focused on accuracy - Proficiency in dealing with PDF file formatting - Able to handle text data with excellence Please ensure that all rules and formatting guidelines are adhered to. Attention to detail is critical, as ensuring data accuracy is a key requirement for this project.

I'm in need of a skilled individual who can assist me in creating flat file templates for Amazon. I need a highly experienced Amazon listing expert. I need it in 24 hours. I will also work with you there are 1125 products. And Raw file is ready upc, description, Sku etc. It is copy paste work. - The task will involve exclusively the creation of the templates, not data importing or formatting. - Please specify your experience with Amazon's flat file system when responding. Ideal skills: - Proficient in creating flat file templates for Amazon - Prior experience with Amazon's flat file system - Excellent attention to detail

I'm in need of a skilled individual who can assist me in creating flat file templates for Amazon. I need a highly experienced Amazon listing expert. I need it in 24 hours. I will also work with you there are 1125 products. And Raw file is ready upc, description, Sku etc. It is copy paste work. - The task will involve exclusively the creation of the templates, not data importing or formatting. - Please specify your experience with Amazon's flat file system when responding. Ideal skills: - Proficient in creating flat file templates for Amazon - Prior experience with Amazon's flat file system - Excellent attention to detail

I have a large amount of text data that needs to be entered into a digital format. I'll provide you with the data and you'll have no specific deadline for this project.

I need a professional to help me with my PES file resizing and correction for a cotton fabric project. Key Tasks: - Resize the design to fit within the 4x4 to 8x8 inches range - Digitize the design for optimal stitch density - Ensure the color scheme is correct and suitable for the final product (cotton fabric) You should have: - Proficiency in embroidery software, specifically with PES files - Experience in resizing and correcting embroidery designs - Understanding of different materials' requirements, especially cotton - Attention to detail - Portfolio of similar projects Please provide me with an overview of your experience and some examples of past work.

I have a large amount of text data that needs to be entered into a digital format. I'll provide you with the data and you'll have no specific deadline for this project.

I have an Illustrator file that needs some text changes. All the new text content is ready, so the task mainly involves swapping out the existing text with the updated content. Ideal skills and experience for this project: - Proficiency in Adobe Illustrator - Strong attention to detail - Ability to follow instructions accurately Attached is a sample. Required modifications. 1. Change bar code. 2. Tidy up the text. 3. Duplicate the file and update some text. 4. Resend me with the right dimensions.

... • Footer Design Update: Revise the footer design for improved aesthetics and functionality. • Technical Optimization: Implement cache management, Google Analytics, meta tags, and backlinks for enhanced website performance and visibility. • Homepage Enhancement: Update the design of the homepage to be more interactive, responsive, and fast-loading. • Content Optimization: Enhance text content with quotes, highlighted words, and captivating copywriting. • Calculator Update: Improve the functionality of the calorie calculator by removing the login requirement, allowing users to generate and download dynamic reports seamlessly. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in website design and development - Experience in PHP, LARAVEL, Wordpress - Experience i...

Hi Ishaq A., My Printer says that The logo file in one of the rewind bag artwork files for Mulberry Tree brand is too small. Can you please fix the logo and change to the two coloured versions used in the artwork

I'm looking for an experienced developer to help with real-time text data scraping via API and management using BeautifulSoup. This project is primarily focused on retrieving text data and storing it in a database. Key Responsibilities: - Implement an API scraper to continuously retrieve text data in real-time - Utilize BeautifulSoup for data extraction and management - Develop a robust database to store all the scraped text data The ideal candidate should have: - Proficiency in Python programming language - Strong experience with API scraping and BeautifulSoup - Previous work involving real-time data scraping - A good understanding of database management It is important that the data scraping runs seamlessly and accurately in real-time. Prior experien...

I have a 58-second audio file with speech that has been marred by background noise. I'm seeking a professional audio engineer who can clean up the file and remove the static, ensuring the final audio quality is as pristine as possible, with minimal to no background noise remaining. SECOND HALF OF AUDIO NEED TO CLARIFY VOICES- YOUNG BOY TALKING TO HIS FATHER WHO HAS PLANTED EVIDENCE FOR HIS OWN CRIME. NEED TO HEAR IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE This task requires someone well-versed in audio editing who can preserve the original content while significantly reducing the presence of background noise AND PERHAPS LOWER THE OVERLAPPED FAKE POLICE YELLING ON TOP.... Experience with radio or similar audio content is a plus. ANYONE WHO CAN DO IT FAST.

...Python file that was running fine last night for data analysis purposes. However, after trying to upload the '' file to GitHub, I encountered an error due to the file size being too large for GitHub. I need to get the Python file running again, but with the '' file stored on an external service to work around the file size limitations of GitHub. Key requirements include: - Identifying and resolving the issue causing the Python file not to run - Storing the '' file on an external service and adjusting the Python code to access it from there Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Python - Experience with data analysis and handling large datasets - Familiarity with version control, specifically u...

I'm looking for a skilled photo editor who can remove the existing date from a picture and insert a new one, as well as incorporate a text or logo to the image. Key Requirements: - **Date Replacement**: You'll need to completely remove the old date from the picture and add a new one in its place. - **Text or Logo Placement**: The text or logo should be elegantly placed on the image, in a manner that doesn't overshadow the main subject. Ideal Freelancer: - Proficient in photo editing software like Adobe Photoshop or GIMP. - Experienced in working with image manipulation and text overlay. - Attention to detail to ensure a seamless blend of the new date and the existing image.

I'm in need of a reliable professional to conduct text data entry for magazine advertisements. The successful freelancer should have: - Strong attention to detail - Proficiency in English - Prior experience in data entry, particularly with swift and accurate text input While not required, experience with magazine ad placements could also be highly beneficial, as the task involves inserting advertisements directly into a magazine. However, please note the specific magazine has not been disclosed at this point. Applicants without such specific experience but with proven data entry skills are still encouraged to bid.

I'm looking for a skilled Photoshop expert who has a knack for creating hilarious and eye-catching face swaps. This project aims to craft laughs and shared amusement, so consider this when swapping the faces on the provided image. Requirements: - Replace the faces on the supplied photo with the specific ones I've chosen for a funny effect. Delicate discretion is required to ensure the overall balance of the image isn't disrupted. - Maintain the background scenery, body positions, color, and lighting effects of the original image. - Adjust as necessary for naturalistic integration of the new faces without compromising the original photo's features. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Advanced Photoshop skills - Understanding of lighting and angles for believable i...

As we delve further into the world of quilt design, our team needs a proficient quilting professional who is well-acquainted with HZZE quilting software. This task involves converting our simple vector design into a .DAT file suitable for our HZZE machine. The design has been created in Adobe Illustrator and isn’t intricate, it requires implementing straight stitching only. Your skills and experience in working with similar software and accomplishing related tasks would be pivotal to the success of this project. We look forward to seeing the design come to life.

I'm looking for a skilled professional to create a 3D print file in STL format derived from an image I have. The project revolves around crafting a monochrome 3D model of a specific object within the provided image. Your tasks will involve: - Analyzing the image and focusing on the designated object. - Creating a 3D model of the object. - Generating an STL file for 3D printing in monochrome. Ideal candidates will have experience with 3D modeling, CAD software, and a keen eye for detail to accurately capture the object within the image. Please ensure your proficiency with STL file creation and monochrome 3D printing. Efficiency, precision, and ability to follow instructions closely are paramount for this task. Reach out if you demonstrate these skills. I am eager...

I'm looking for a skilled freelancer to help with setting up a basic WordPress site....Minimalist preferred. Please keep the design clean, with a focus on simplicity and usability. - **Page Count**: The site will have between 1-5 pages. I'll provide the content and some guidance on the layout. - **Functionality**: I'll need a contact form and a blog section. Additionally, I need a quote page, similar to the contact form. This is a crucial part, as visitors should be able to request quotes easily. Ideal Skills & Experience: - **WordPress Design**: Proficiency in designing and setting up WordPress sites is a must. - **Minimalist Design**: Experience with minimalist design styles would be a big plus. - **Functional Design**: Ability to implement and test contact for...

I have a list of 50000 urls, I would like to scape the pages to see if they contain references to scripts - I will provide a list of the urls and the scripts. Deliverable should be an excel with the 50000 urls and whether they contain the link for each script. Looking for fast turnaround

I'm seeking an excellent copy editor to revise the existing content of a brochure. Your task is to change some of the wording to better suit our brand's voice and target audience. - You should be skilled in copy editing, revision and proofreading. - Experience with brochures or similar promotional material is a plus. - The goal is to ensure our text is clear, engaging and on-brand. You need to ensure that the wording is impeccable and relevant. Please provide examples of relevant work in your bid.

I'm in need of a prof...professional who can create a web-based file sharing script much like Dropbox or Zoho Wedrive. This project is geared towards individuals and requires the following key functionalities: - File Uploading and Downloading: The ability to upload and download files securely and seamlessly is a must. - File Versioning: Implementing a system that tracks and allows users to access previous versions of files is critical for this project. Ideal candidates should have extensive experience in web-based application development, particularly within the file-sharing niche. A solid understanding of data security, user experience, and scalability is also a plus. I'm looking for a proactive and highly skilled professional who can deliver a reli...

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I’m looking for an experienced system programmer who can create a batch file or script that performs a specific set of tasks on a local W10/11computer. The tasks I need accomplished are: - Connect to the remote QNX computer via SSH (Secure Shell)( login/ password in config file.) -send some command (must be configurable - Run certain commands via batch file on windows 10/11 computer. (Configurable) - Run local bat comands on Windows computer (configurable) - Send key combinations on Windows computer (configurable) Managing errors if they occurs. Keep CMD open for manually entering other commands ( in feature can be automated as another project or add-on) Prior experience with batch file creation and QNX systems is necessary. Proficiency in SSH connectio...

I'm in need of an Excel expert to enhance my files. The tasks include: - Removing duplicate rows - Fixing formatting issues - Merging two sheets into one Additionally, I would like to incorporate a corporate branding style in the file, utilizing appropriate colors and logos. Ideal Freelancer: - Proficient in Excel with experience in data cleaning - Skilled in formatting and merging multiple sheets - Familiar with incorporating corporate branding within Excel

I'm looking for an experienced data entry specialist who can efficiently and accurately convert English handwritten documents into digital text format. Key Requirements: - Data Entry Skills: Proficient in entering handwritten English text with a high level of accuracy. - Language Proficiency: Fluent in English for understanding and translating handwritten content. - Patience and Attention to Detail: Meticulous and careful when transcribing the text to prevent errors. It's important that the freelancer has a good quality keyboard, as well as a quiet work space to avoid any errors in transcription.

I'm looking for someone to convert a PDF documen...document. The main purpose of this conversion is to extract text from the PDF content which has complex formatting, including elements such as tables and footnotes. Key Requirements: - Accurate Extraction: The primary goal here is to ensure that all text is accurately extracted from the PDF file and transferred to the Word document without any loss or distortion. - Formatting Preservation: While the layout may be complex, I'm looking for the freelancer to maintain the font styles and sizes as they appear in the original document. The ideal candidate for this job would have: - Proficiency in PDF and Word processing tools - Experience with maintaining formatting during content transfer - Attention to detail ...

I'm in need of a skilled developer to create a text-based GPT (Generative Pre-trained Transformer) specifically for analyzing excel outputs and give answer according to user pre-defined questions.

Simple financial website needs layout updated, images changed, possible logo change, and text (copywriting) updated. You must be able to use SVN for updating. Looking for fast turnaround.

I am in need of an experienced individual to help with data collection for my business. Unfortunately, I didn't complete the form, but here's a more detailed overview of what I need: - I require a variety of data to be gathered, which may include customer information, product details, and sales information. Having a background in managing these types of data will be essential. - The purpose behind this data collection process is to strengthen my business strategies. Your ability to interpret data and draw actionable insights from it will be crucial in this project. - The method of data collection may vary. It could involve online surveys, in-person interviews, social media monitoring, or even a combination of these. Therefore, your experience with diverse data collection metho...

I'm in need of a comprehensive branding package for my bus...Key Requirements: - Logo Design: A professional, memorable logo that conveys trust and reliability. - Marketing Materials Design: I'll need various marketing materials designed that will help evoke a sense of trustworthiness in our audience. - Embracing Hands**: Depicting hands reaching out to support and uplift each other can symbolize solidarity and community. - Inspirational Quotes**: Incorporate uplifting quotes or phrases that convey messages of resilience, courage, and hope. -Color Palette**: Choose colors that evoke feelings of warmth, compassion, and positivity, such as soft pastels or vibrant hues like blue, beige Target Audience: The target audience of my business is both genders, so the desig...

Pdf to word file typing i wan a professional typer to do this

I'm looking for a professional to help me modify text and images in an AI file. I need someone to do this RIGHT NOW, If you have the time now to sharescreen and get it done in 30 mins or so. PING me or else don't bother please. I already have the AI file ( restaurant Menu )

I need a professional who can convert a 1-10 page PDF document into a fully editable Word file. The main purpose of this conversion is to be able to easily edit and update the contents of the document as needed. Key requirements: - Conversion of a 1-10 page PDF file into an editable Word document. - Retaining the formatting of the original PDF to ensure the Word file looks professional. - Including images from the PDF into the Word document, maintaining their quality and positioning. Ideal skills and experience for this project: - Strong experience with PDF to Word conversions. - Proficiency in Microsoft Word and a good eye for detail to ensure the final Word file is accurate and retains the formatting of the PDF. - Experience with handling images in Word docu...

...mobile app developer to create an intuitive mobile application for automobile insurance. The application needs to be highly user-friendly and should be accessible on both iOS and Android platforms. Key Features: - The app should collect information from various automobile insurance companies in one location which will help users to compare and choose the best option. - The ability to generate quotes from multiple insurance companies is a must. - It should also support claim reporting and policy management functionalities. Ideal Candidate: - Experience in developing insurance related mobile applications is desirable. - Must have previous experience creating apps for both iOS and Android. - Knowledge in integrating third-party APIs to fetch data. - An understanding of the insuran...

I am looking for an expert to build a text-to-speech converter specifically for the Hindi language. This project doesn't require different voice options for males and females. What the project entails: - Hindi language support only (written and spoken) - Text-to-speech functionality with a female voice (“Girl Voice”) Ideal skills for this job: - Experience in voice recognition technology - Fluency in Hindi language - Previous work with text-to-speech converters.