Really funny jokes english jobs

I'm in need of an English tutor who can help me improve my beginner's level proficiency specifically for educational purposes. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in teaching English to beginners - Prior experience in tutoring or teaching - Ability to customize lessons for educational purposes The ideal candidate should be able to provide me with one-on-one lessons, focusing on building my basic English skills. I am looking to improve my reading, writing, speaking, and listening abilities in a way that will benefit my educational pursuits. Your task will be to design lessons that cater to my specific needs and objectives in education. Your experience in teaching English to beginners and your ability to adapt your teaching style will be invaluable. Plea...

NOTE: AUTO GENERATED APPLICATIONS WILL BE DELETED! Looking for someone well experienced in pitch decks to help us create a sponsorship proposal. I am searching for someone that can help me create a Sponsorship Pitch Deck for an event that I have in New York City. We are targeting sponsorships from:
 -Liquor brands -Restaurant (food) Chains and Local Restaurants -Speaker companies The event is an outdoor party. The crowd is made up of around 100-150 young black professionals, socialites, influencers, & content creators. All are between 25-40 years old. If we can secure financial sponsorships that is great. If not, then in-kind sponsorships/product donations are okay. You must understand what brands want to see & what information to highlight to peak their interest.

I'm in need of a talented female voiceover artist who can voice a 1-5 minute infotainment video in both Hindi and English. The ideal candidate should have the ability to sound like a young adult (18-35). Key Requirements: - Female voiceover artist - Fluency in both Hindi and English - A versatile voice that can sound like a young adult - Previous experience with voiceovers, especially in infotainment videos, is a plus. The person for this job should be able to deliver a high-quality recording that is engaging and clear, and able to effectively communicate the content of the video. Please provide a sample of your work for consideration. A rough voiceover will be shared for reference.

I need a competent individual to translate my English marketing materials to Spanish. The ideal candidate should: - Be fluent in both English and Spanish - Have experience with marketing translation - Be able to convey the message accurately while keeping it culturally appropriate for the target audience.

...chair, persons images will be provided I'm seekinag a talented graphic designer proficient in Photoshop to create a completely new image from an existing one. This will involve complex photo manipulation, essentially re-imagining the original image with additional elements and potential combination with other images. The task is not merely to adjust the colors or make basic edits, but to really push the boundaries of creativity and skill in Photoshop. The ideal candidate will have a thorough understanding of design principles, deep experience in photo manipulation, and a keen eye for detail. Key requirements include: - Proficiency in Photoshop - Experience in advanced photo manipulation - Ability to work creatively, combining and adding elements seamlessly - Strong...

I require a professional translator to translate an English language family document to Danish. The content is legal in nature, and being accurate to the original intent is of the utmost importance: - Only apply if you have previous experience in legal documents translation - The document is less than 1,000 words but every word is crucial - Due to the nature of the document, fluency in English and Danish plus knowledge of legal jargon are key skills required - I will reject google or machine translation Your expertise will make the difference in providing clear, comprehensible interpretation and avoiding legal complications.

I require a professional translator to translate an English language family document to Danish. The content is legal in nature, and being accurate to the original intent is of the utmost importance: - Only apply if you have previous experience in legal documents translation - The document is less than 1,000 words but every word is crucial - Due to the nature of the document, fluency in English and Danish plus knowledge of legal jargon are key skills required - I will reject google or machine translation Your expertise will make the difference in providing clear, comprehensible interpretation and avoiding legal complications.

I have a C# code that's currently designed for file manipulation but I really need it to work like Powershell for data processing. - Task: I'm specifically working with text files and need to perform a hashing operation on them. - The end goal: The code needs to be able to read through the text files and hash them in a way that's similar to what one can do with Powershell. The ideal freelancer for this job should have: - Proficiency in C# programming, especially in the context of data processing. - A good understanding of hash functions and how to implement them in a C# code. - Familiarity with text file handling in C# is a plus. I'm looking for an efficient and smooth solution that's able to process large text files quickly. Your experience in simila...

...Fluency in Indonesian and English languages is preferred. Specific Requirements: - 2D Animation: The project requires 2D animation skills to bring the concept to life. - Detailed Concept: The client already has a detailed concept for the character design, and the freelancer will need to work with this concept. - Duration: The final video is intended to be between 1-3 minutes long. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Adobe After Effects: The freelancer should have strong skills in using Adobe After Effects to create high-quality animations. - Character Design and Storyboarding: Experience in character design and storyboarding is necessary to accurately portray the client's concept. - Bilingual in Indonesian and English: Fluency in both Indonesian and E...

I'm in need of a proficient video editor who specializes in creating engaging and dynamic social media content. Here's what the job entails: - You will be creating less than 1-minute videos primarily focusing on event highlights. - The content needs to be visually stimulating, concise and should effectively showcase the highlights of the event. - A strong understanding of social media trends is key to meet the audience's expectations. Ideal Skills: - Video Editing - Strong narrative storytelling abilities - Previous experience, will need a portfolio This work will be on a monthly basis so a committed and reliable individual is preferred. Have your portfolio ready to discuss. How much per a 1 min or less video?

We're a growing residential cleaning company in need of someone who wants to be the first point of contact with all our clients. We need you to answer phone calls and make outgoing calls to incoming leads, provide them quotes for our services and book them into jobber (the system we use to schedule clients). The id...solve their problems (and usually their problem isn't solved with a one time solution). Hopefully this gives you an idea as to what kind of qualities we are looking for, and whether you think this challenging job could be a good fit for you. While you are only paid for the time spent working, we do need someone available 8am-5pm Monday-Friday. The perfect candidate is fluent in Spanish and English so they can communicate easily with clients as well ...

I'm in need of a skilled database designer and manager who' is confident in English. The project involves creating and maintaining a relational database. Key Requirements: - Advanced knowledge of Relational Databases - Proven experience in database design and management - Must be be fluent in English Experience with: - Customer data management or transaction records (preferred but not mandatory) I'm looking for someone who can work on this project with no strict time limit.

(By My Invite Only) I'm seeking a talented graphic artist to create 10-20 pieces of digital artwork for my project. This involves the production of both 2D static images and GIFs, all centered around the theme of humor. Essential Skills and Requirements: - Proficient in generating high-quality 2D designs - Ability to create eye-catching, hilarious GIFs - Strong grasp of current trends in meme culture - Excellent sense of humor and understanding of comic timing in visual media

I'm seeking a skilled English writer to help me with my coursework. - **Subject**: The work is related to English Studies. - **Type of Assistance**: I specifically need help with writing an essay, job descriptions, and short paragraphs. While the exact topic or theme is not yet defined, I would appreciate a professional who can assist in the construction of several compelling and well-structured pieces. Ideal candidates will have: - Proficiency in English Language and Literature - Experience in Essay Writing - Strong Research Skills - Ability to create well-structured, coherent arguments - Familiarity with academic writing styles and standards This project will lead to a long-term collaboration if the first task is completed successfully. Please No plagiar...

I'm looking to have a logo created for my business. The design should be influenced by the art deco and midcentury modern styles. Key points: - The focus will be on the company name, with no tagline - The color scheme is open-ended, but do keep in mind the classic art deco palettes for inspiration The ideal freelancer for this job would have experience in...scheme is open-ended, but do keep in mind the classic art deco palettes for inspiration The ideal freelancer for this job would have experience in: - Logo design - Art deco and/or midcentury modern design - Understanding and application of color theory My current logo is uploaded. I am looking to update it to something a little cleaner and product/merch friendly. The text can stay the same - I really need the pineapple ...

...discounts on Gleara. The end goal of these videos are as follows: 30-second videos (5 Videos) Product Name: Gleara Product website: Your own model, camera, scripts (approved by me) , post and pre-production, editing Imagine a series of 30-second videos that pack a punch of humor, boldness, and shareability. Each video will be a standalone gem designed to tickle the funny bone and leave viewers craving for more. With unique concepts, witty scripts, and impeccable direction, our goal is to make these videos go viral and create a buzz in the digital world. Ideal skills and experience: A freelancer with experience in creating engaging product advertisement videos, excellent videography and post-production skills, a keen eye for details, and a deep understanding of

Hello, iam gifting a funny gift to a friend of "himself" and a celebrity he likes. I would like a simple and realistic headswap of himself and the male Ana De Armas is with(the male on the right). If possible, delete the man on the left. Make it look as real as possible, better lighting, better quality etc.

...a series of English documents from the PDF format to a digital one. Details: - Objective: The primary purpose of this project is to digitize my existing documentation. - Language: The documents are in English. - Volume: The task includes less than 100 pages to be converted. Skills Required: - Detail-oriented and precise in copy typing. - Strong proficiency in English. - Proficient in handling PDF files. - Understand formatting specifics and document structure. Experience: - Previous experience with digitizing or copy typing tasks. - Familiarity with file conversion and data entry tasks. Only freelancers equipped with these skills and experience are encouraged to bid. This project is a fantastic opportunity to exhibit your skills in detail orientation...

Legal document translation French to English

I need a competent translator with expertise in business terminology to translate an English text document into Spanish. This translation will be used for business communication, hence requires strict adherence to accuracy and confidentiality. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in both English and Spanish languages - Experience in translating business/official documents - Excellent understanding of business terminologies - Attention to detail and respect for deadlines - Confidentiality due to the sensitive nature of the document.

I am looking for a savvy digital marketer who specializes in Facebook and Instagram marketing. The aim of this project is specifically to generate leads and ultimately increase sales. This marketer needs to have a proven track record in this capacity, ideally reaching consumer audiences (B2C). Key Responsibilities: - Develop and optimi...Proven experience in social media marketing with demonstrable results in lead generation and sales. - Knowledge of B2C marketing - Lead generation and sales conversion experience - Strong understanding of social media marketing strategies - Proficient in monitoring and adjusting campaigns based on performance This is a fantastic opportunity for an experienced and results-driven digital marketer to really make their mark and contribute to our sal...

...designs will serve the dual purpose of showcasing the uniqueness of my products and providing an immersive virtual tour. They should be strategically designed to create engaging, interactive animations that captivate visitors and encourage them to explore the site further. - **Main Focus**: The designs should ooze creativity. While I appreciate the value of realism and simplicity in design, I'm really looking for someone who can push the boundaries of what's possible and bring a fresh, innovative approach to my website. - **Skills and Experience**: Ideal candidates will have extensive experience in 3D website design, with a portfolio showcasing their capability in product visualization, architectural visualization, and character animation. Strong creativity skills an...

I'm in need of a professional Polish to English translator to convert a 36-page technical document into English. The translation is required to be of professional standard in terms of accuracy and terminology. Key Requirements: - Professional Translation: The translation needs to be of a professional standard with accuracy in technical terms and context. - Technical Background: The document is technical in nature, thus prior experience in translating technical documents is highly preferred. - Certifications: While no specific certification is required, a background in technical document translation is an advantage. Ideal Freelancer: - Fluent in Polish and English - Proven experience in translating technical documents - Familiarity with technical terminology - U...

We need freelancers who can handle our English to Italian native language translation project perfectly, we'll be accepting your proposal immediately. Thank you so much for considering my job offer. I am excited to see where your creativity takes this project!

I did a Android app with MIT appinventor that i need to convert to iOs. The app has only 3 screen (the 1st with logo, second is the programm, and the last is the user manual), just need to communicate with the Bluetooth (a BLE 4.0) to send a simple string to a Arduino board. The app is really easy, i attached a screenshot of the main page. - The Bluetooth button (when click) will show a list of all available BLE. - The red "Non connecte" will go in green and "Connecte" when connected, and when click will disconnect the Bluetooth. - The 1st ok button (at "Reset réglage d'usine") will send a string by bluetooth to put all value at factory. - The slider select a value between 0 and 100. - The button ok bellow the slider ("Envoyer le r&eacu...

I'm looking for a talented developer who can create a server for the old game Crossgate. The server should be accessible for casual gamers. Key Features: - Player Matchmaking: The server should facilitate the process of players finding and joining games. - In-game Chat Support...experience in developing game servers and a solid understanding of networking protocols. - Familiarity with creating matchmaking systems and implementing chat functionalities. - Ability to design a secure and stable server environment that can handle the demands of a gaming community. It's a 90' or 2000' game, really old fashion. I have the files, but I don't know anything about the server, I just want to play it with friends. i have the client, need to develop on k...

I need a professional to implement the following tasks: - Increase the number of followers of our German Facebook page - Increase the number of members of our associated Facebook group - Increase the number of members of our associated Whatsapp channel - Increasing the website's visibility in Google (e.g. through high DR backlinks or similar...German-speaking participants! Backlinks only from real websites with traffic! No link farms or blackhat sites! I expect a precise structure in the procedure with concrete suggestions for action for the planned implementation, already in your offers. A 100% legal implementation is important to me, without running the risk of Google and/or Meta (Facebook & Whatsapp) blocking access! Please only bid if you really have expertise in...

Requires a person with a strong command of both languages, an understanding of the cultural subtleties of both languages, research skills for specialized terms, access to online and/or print dictionaries and reference resources, as well as the ability to use translation software. quality translation since it is essential to maintain the coherence and style of the original document during the translation process.

I'm in need of a professional logo designer to create a unique logo for my business. Name: THE BOX OF CREATIVITY THE BOX OF CREATIVITY is a Kids Carnival Group ( Carnival parade in brazil & caribean ) logo must have: - name : The box of creativity - colorful logo - box ( open box with creative carnival items ) - Funny ( its gonna be a Kids Carnival group )

Hello there! I am fully bilingual in English and German , as I was born into a multicultural family with a German mother and an American father, and I grew up in Bosnia and Herzegovina.

...in the content writing and marketing business for 15 years and have worked with more than 2000 clients. As part of our team, you'll have the opportunity to learn from experienced team members on a daily basis. What we expect: *You'll be part of an International team with a base in Serbia that works for many clients which means you must be able and willing to research various topics. *Your English writing, spelling, and grammar skills need to be of a high standard. *You take feedback well and want to improve your writing skills. *Creativity and a big vocabulary are pluses. *Deadlines are very important and when given one you must make sure to submit the work in time. Please tell us about your availability in your proposal. *Naturally, all the content should be ori...

...the product (consider using info from: ) Elements: - Include easy to read TikTok/Instagram style captions - Use the End Card CTA provided Other: - Colour-correct the clips so that they all look great together - Use royalty-free music and edit to the beat - Make sure you pay attention to Instagram Stories/Reels "Safe Zones" --------- We are looking for people who have really great technical and storytelling skill sets in video editing :) As a full-time editor with us, you would be: Please follow the comprehensive brief below for more details before starting your edit. As a full-time editor with Venture Beyond, you will be: - Crafting and editing ads using Adobe Premiere Pro and After Effects - Collaborating with our UK-based team - Constantly learning and upskill...

Hey again, as discussed. Thank you

I am in need of a hostess or interpreter who is fluent in both the Mandarin and English language for assisting guests at events. Your primary duties would be as follows: - Ensure guests feel welcome at events. - Provide assistance and communication guidance to event attendees. - Use your Mandarin proficiency to bridge communication gaps. Your work will primarily be in person at meetings or events. A native or near-native fluency in Mandarin is a crucial requirement for this role. Additionally, strong interpersonal skills and experience in hosting or interpretation would be greatly beneficial.

I'm looking for a creative video maker to help me create one short, funny video a day for TikTok and YouTube. Key Project Details: - Content Type: Comedy Skits - Video Duration: Less than 1 minute - Script: We'll be using a mix of both original and existing scripts. - Frequency: 1 video per day Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in video editing and creation - Strong understanding of comedy and what drives engagement on social media platforms - Ability to work with a mix of existing scripts and create original content in line with the overall theme - Understanding of TikTok and YouTube audience preferences Please let me know your availability and experience with similar projects. A good sense of humor and creativity will go a long way!

...in games, smaller though. - The map should include intricate features such as Rocks, Mountains, Trees, rivers, caves and natural elements like vegetation. This will help to create a realistic and immersive environment for the gaming experience. - The map must be topographically accurate, reflecting the elevations and contours of the terrain in a visually appealing manner, that is not flat but really hard to navigate with thick vegetation and small canals for walking. - The final deliverable should be in a format compatible with game development software, ensuring seamless integration into the gaming environment. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in 3D modeling and map design, particularly with topographic maps - Experience creating detailed, realistic environments for gaming or simil...

...who can translate a document of 500-1500 words from English to German. The content is quite important and should be translated accurately and naturally. This is a children's book so it needs to not just translate but also consider and include nuance. I live in Germany so I have people here to proof the translation. Please do not count on AI. I need someone that also understands the German audience. I need to also know if the story makes sense to a German child. For instance, in the book we talk about a child in a yard. Obviously most children in a German city dont have a yard but rather if anything, a small garden. This is the nuance I need included in the translation. Key Requirements: - Native or fluent in German - Proficient in English - Proven experience in tra...

I am in need of a proficient English tutor who can assist me in building up my Grammar, Writing, and Reading comprehension skills. This tutoring will be face to face and will pay $40 per hour. Key Requirements: - Excellent command over English Grammar, Writing, and Reading Comprehension. - Availability for 1-2 hours sessions every Tuesday evening. - Prior experience with tutoring Year 11 students will be an added advantage. Please note, this role requires a flexible and adaptive teaching method suited to individual learning styles. If you have the necessary skills and availability, I would love to hear from you.

I'm looking for a professional and skilled voice artist to assist with an undefined English voice project. As I haven't specifically outlined the use or duration, it's essential for the voice artist to be flexible with these details as we finalize the project. Ideal Skills and Experience Required: • Experienced English voice artist • Flexible and adaptable • Ability to work with undefined conditions • Priority given to those who have experience in diverse English voice projects

French to English Translation Required for translation

I am seeking a skilled English-Russian translator for the translation of a metallurgical document. Key Requirements: - Translate a metallurgical introduction from English to Russian. - The translation is needed for personal use, and must be done accurately and professionally. - The project must be completed within one week. - The translated document should be sent via email. Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in English to Russian translation. - Background in metallurgy would be an advantage. - Ability to work under tight deadlines. - Excellent communication skills. I'm looking for someone who can handle this task efficiently and deliver high-quality results.

I'm in need of a creative designer who can handle a variety of design tasks. The project will involve: I already have a logo design but it needs editing. I want it to be more visible on social media at the moment you can't really read the words when it is uploaded. Possibly needs to be more bold. I like the wording Modern Money to be in modern pointy style font. I would also like another option of all the yellow font in Gold so that I can compare the two. I only need the logo at the moment but I will be needing the below in the near future. I am looking to work with someone that I can keep coming back to for additional graphic design work so I am relly needing someone I can continue to work with and understands my vision for the aethetic and brand I am wanting to crea...

...have different things in each area of focus for each hat. Same had layouts but each area on each of the states hats will have something different that speaks to that state. Folder 3 - This folder houses things that speak to each state that you will be doing a design for Folder 4 - This folder shows you the design direction I want to emulate the most (Abstract Patch Work - WOW) these are really getting there but they don’t have any patches or anything. Folder 5 - Just folder Shows you some of the wow things I found. I want our designs to be more abstract. The colors and designs in the fabrics are supposed to clash like the patchwork designs in folder 4. Folder 6 - This just just a folder with a lot of the similar fabrics I would like the designs to incorpo...

English to Filipino Translator service.

Filipino to English Translator service.

I am in need of ...with a limited color palette - Excellent communication skills to understand and implement my vision for the logo Please include a link to your portfolio showcasing similar logo redesign projects for consideration. Attached is our current logo. It’s our towns (Danville CA) logo basically with added as the top of the logo. The other logo is from Treehouse brewing which I just think is really cool and adds character. Not trying to do anything similar to them as I’d like to make ours recognizable even with the refresh, but I feel like ours was a bit generic and quickly put together and would like to improve it. Also added is a pic of the old oak in the middle of our town which is an iconic symbol for Danville. Maybe it could be used for inspiration? Th...

I am looking for someone to complete a project of translating English to German. PART 1 (To be completed in 1 week): Translating the following sign from English to German and make sure it scans well for a reader of German. Please ensure that you are accurate with the word "Macerator" (the sanitary device - brand name is sometimes "SANIBROY"). I will then do the graphic design and will need you to check it thoroughly in case I have made an error. "NOTICE: This toilet is fitted with a macerator pump which will become blocked if misused. The toilet is for disposal of human waste and toilet paper only. Do not flush anything else* as this will cause a blockage. *i.e. sanitary towels, tampons, cotton, cotton wool, wet wipes, kitchen roll, dental floss, ...

I am looking for someone to complete a project of translating English to Italian. PART 1 (To be completed in 1 week): Translating the following sign from English to Italian and make sure it scans well for a reader of Italian. Please ensure that you are accurate with the word "Macerator" (the sanitary device - brand name is sometimes "SANITRIT"). I will then do the graphic design and will need you to check it thoroughly in case I have made an error. "NOTICE: This toilet is fitted with a macerator pump which will become blocked if misused. The toilet is for disposal of human waste and toilet paper only. Do not flush anything else* as this will cause a blockage. *i.e. sanitary towels, tampons, cotton, cotton wool, wet wipes, kitchen roll, dental flos...

I need a skilled photo editor to transform a family portrait into a fun and interesting images. Here's what I'm looking for: Either (not all in one photo) - Replace the boy in the picture with a girl and baby Yoda. - Replace dad with Dwayne Johnson. - Replace mom with an alien. addiotionally, - Add a great background like cartoon themed funny or anything to make it impressive The ideal freelancer for this job should be experienced in img2img editing and manipulation in Stable Diffusion. Understanding of humor and creativity is a plus. Blend the image so it looks realistic even with edits. Most importantly, I will need to the model names used and the seed for pictures to take it up from there and edit further. Multiple sumbimissions per person are okay. The pic should ...

I'm in need of an experienced 3D modeler to help me with my long-term projects. My expectations revolve around: My projects are not for print, they are for game Engine which limit the car triangles/polygones/vertices, so it is really important to make it max 450k, otherwise it will not work - Modeling low-poly vehicles (200-450k polygons/triangles/vertices) that are detailed yet optimized for performance - Ability to model intricately detailed classic cars, emphasizing their unique features and characteristics - Precision is essential given the level of detail I require; thus, experience with high detail 3D modelling is necessary - All models need to be 1:1 and 100% same like in the reference (Their are no Blueprints, just picture) - Textures/Materials needed - Doors need t...